Patience has never been a virtue of mine; I like it right now, rather than later. I’m also not very good at quiet. And you could probably add serenity to that as well. Oh and dragging out the moment… I find that after five minutes ... I’m good. I have a lot of shortcomings. I like to say “God’s still working on me” and I’m being utterly serious. I’m more of a long in-depth project rather than a work-in-progress.
Here’s a good example. I stood at the very edge, cause I’m a dare devil like that. Arms spread wide and looking from side to side slowly. It was my first and only trip to the Grand Canyon. It was stunning. Unlike a picture you see, the actual depth and texture to the view cannot be fully appreciated until you see it. The valleys and the different colors of rock: Gorgeous! After about five minutes of looking, I started getting distracted by the sweat rolling down my back. There were bugs too. I don’t like bugs. It was June, it was hot and we were standing out in the midday heat. Sweating. Together. It was a special moment. Then I was done. Before my husband started heading over toward another lookout point, he reached his hand out, I slapped him a high five and made tracks for our truck. There was air conditioning there. He would continue to spend another hour just staring. I was rocking some serious tunes and the A/C on high.
Our first visit to the Pacific Ocean was on that same trip. We parked our old truck at the very edge of the parking lot and hand-in-hand we walked until all we could see was the neverending blue-green color of the ocean. I was fully clothed and hip deep in the water, before it occurred to me that 1) It was very cold in the ocean verses a lake like I was used to and 2) My husband had left his shirt and shoes neatly sitting out of the path of the water. So later when the sun went down I was freezing and soaking wet with nothing warm and dry. Until he handed over his dry shirt and shoes.
This would continue to be a pattern in our marriage. He savors things and I fall upon it like a rabid wolf consuming it in minutes. It may be something as simple as a dessert but chances are extremely good that I’m licking the bowl and/or cup while he has just finished eating the cherry off the top of his. Then I sit there waiting on him ... and occasionally snagging an extra bite.
As parents this pattern was magnified. Heaven help us when either baby had a fever, I was packing bags and calling up nurse hotlines and preparing for hospital stays. Meanwhile he’s giving her a bath and Tylenol then rocking her to sleep. I would finally stop and take a deep breath just to see them asleep in the chair.
Over the years, I learned to recognize my tendency for dramatic flair. I try to slow down and enjoy life around me, not jump to conclusions (though the invention of Web MD did not help). I’m so thankful that my guy, through thick and thin, bitter bag ladies and sunny days, is still here to drag me to reality whenever I tend to skip off through the daisies.
He’s cautious and plans out his approach. Which comes in handy when I’m flailing about trying to get my footing. I hear so many people telling kids today to wait until they are 30 to get married, to put off having kids until you can afford them. Luckily, I bucked that norm because I met my other half at 19 and that meant we finished growing up together. He’s the yin to my yang. It’s not easy. It’s not supposed to be. At no point should you ever expect easy….that way when things are good… you really appreciate the good. So don’t set unreachable goals in your life. Be open for God’s blessings. You may end up with someone who can fix everything you break.
— Kalynn Brazeal is a conservative, Christian wife/mom/country girl carrying around an MBA, several decades of business experience and a strong opinion. Now living in the remoteness of North Dakota, she continues to share her column on life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness and cake. She can be reached by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.